I’m independent & I love it

Quality no 2 of a high value woman is INDEPENDENCE. But how a woman can be independent but at the same time doesn’t come across as ultra-feminist, who doesn’t like or need men? When you know who you are & what you stand for on your own, you won’t treat men as neither saviors nor enemies. Independence will come naturally.

amelia earhart

This article is a second part of my take on what does it mean to be a woman of high value. To see the definition we’ve created with the ladies in my Facebook community have a look here.

So how a woman can be independent but at the same time don’t come across as ultra feminist, who doesn’t like or need men? 😉 I guess it all comes to being yourself, separate from  being a partner/wife. Or finding yourself before you find a partner. When you know who you are & what you stand for on your own, you won’t treat men as neither saviors nor enemies. And this shows in three areas of a woman’s life: relationships, responsibilities & relaxation.

1. Relationships

It’s all about a variety of choice. When you feel good with yourself, you are not waiting for a knight in shining armor to come and save you from your lonely tower. You don’t feel desperate to find a guy to make everything better.  You have plenty of options to choose from –  where to go, who to meet, what to do in your free time, so you can choose to meet this particular guy because you like him and he’s fun to be around, not because he’s a guy and you’re looking for one.

The same goes for couples who are already together. It’s great to spend time together but try not to overdo it, because there is a possibility that the more you become one unit, the less fun the time together will be. Do your thing. For yourself. It’ll make you happy. And when you’re happy, your partner will definitely benefit from it, even if you don’t spend every free minute with him. And if s**t hits the fan, independence also lets you get out of a sticky situation, if you end up with a not-so-nice of a guy. Only when you can think for yourself, you can notice things are not good for you and do something about it.

2. Responsibilities

You feel independent when you know that you can live and face life on your own.  I’m talking here about such mundane things like logging in to online banking to make a money transfer, knowing what to do when the boiler is broken, sorting out tax return. You don’t necessary have to do it all by yourself but you know who to call or ask for help. When you are not afraid to learn new things & ask questions. When you are independent in the mundane things, you feel empowered and it really pays off to overcome the initial fear of doing something new.

3. Relaxation

First of all find time to relax. And second do it regularly  without your partner. When you have an amazing life on your own, when you have your own friends, own interests and don’t feel like your life will stop to a standstill when the time with your partner disappears for various reasons (he works more, he left, he found a new hobby of his own), then you actually can enjoy both your independence and your time together more. Having own interests and making sure you have time to pursuit them, can actually be a sanity saver, when you have children. A lot of women, after the ‘everything revolves around the baby’ phase, which is amazing by the way, realizes they would like to do something on their own, to get back in touch with the adult in them that is not mother, wife, etc., with the old self. It’s much easier if you have an interest to go back to then try to reinvent the wheel during this 1h a week of free time you have 😉

It is important to remember to keep balance between being independent and communicating to your partner that he is an important part of your life and you need him & his help. If you choose to be in a relationship, no matter how independent you are, that means you need something from this guy, that you are not so self sufficient as you’d like to look like. Make sure he knows that you have chosen him because he brings something special to your life and that yes, you can do it on your own but it’s so much more fun  to do with together.

[Photo of Amelia Earhart, www.ameliaearhart.com]

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